Words Of Wisdom

Just received an e-mail from my best buddy Mr Maran. Would like to share with everyone who stumble at my blog.

Words of Wisdom by Maharishi Phucknuckels Guide To Zen.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, Just f**k off and leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and flat tyres.
3. The darkest hours come before the dawn, So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It only become important if you aren't getting any.
5. Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced you can't be promoted.
6. Remember, no one is listening until you fart.
7. Never forget you are unique like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares whether if you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
10. Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, that way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.
12. Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day, teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. Have you ever lent someone a 20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.
14. IF YOU TELL THE TRUTH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMEMBER ANYTHING.
15. Some days we are the flies, someday we are the windscreen.
16. Don't worry, it only seem kinky for the first time.
17. Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
20. There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman, Neither one works.
21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.
22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
24. When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry and get smacked on our arse. From there on, in life get worst.
25. The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.